The Love Letters ministry began unwillingly in September of 2009. The night that I miscarried my first child God laid the phrase, the title, "Love Letters to Miscarried Moms" on my heart. On one of the darkest nights of my life, God revealed to me that my purpose in the midst of my own tragedy was bigger than myself.
As the years have passed, I have received many letters of thanks and many letters pleading for comfort and hope. For each one, I respond with a letter, a love letter, and I realize that God knew the ministry that this book would become long before the book was ever written.
I didn't think I deserved to have a miscarriage. I thought it happened to me by mistake..."God, aren't you all-powerful or something? You could have stopped this! Don't you love me?! I love you. I went to school for you. I majored in ministry and Bible so that I could spend my life telling other people about you!"
...And now I am. Just not the way that I thought I would be.
The Latest Family Update:
Clint and I have three angels born to heaven on Sept. 28, 2009, December 10, 2009 and January 13, 2014. We also have three beautiful daughters with whom we share life here on earth—Kaylynn, who is a teenager trapped in a six-year-old's body, Kelly, four, who marches to her own little drum, and Trinity Grace, who was conceived two weeks after our last miscarriage. Trinity is two. She has wicked, mad scientist hair and is not afraid to tell you what she wants.
Clint. He's still a sentence unto himself, and as I type this, I realize where Kelly gets it from. He is currently pastoring Fairfax UMC (Fairfax, MN) and Faith UMC (Sleepy Eye, MN) and plays semi-pro football (#67) in his "spare" time.
If you've read Love Letters to Miscarried Moms, then you understand the significance of the phrase, "Are you ready to be blessed?". (If you haven't read it yet, this is your opportunity.)
God continues to pour out blessings upon my family as we seek to obey Him throughout this humorous adventure called life.
Are you hanging in there? At some undistinguished point in the last six years, I have gone from surviving the day to actively searching out its blessings and looking for ways to be a blessing myself. So I want to encourage you. If you or someone that you love very much has had a miscarriage quite recently, I can tell you from experience that the grief is survivable. With time, the pain will fade to a dull ache.
Sometimes I feel guilty for having had children. I wish so badly that every one of my readers would eventually be blessed with a child, but everyone's story is different. And sometimes I feel guilty for moving through my grief, but I knew that I would. Something would be wrong if I hadn't. That's why it was so important for me to write Love Letters when I did. Reflections are different in the moment than they are five-plus years later, and I wanted to be there for you. Right there. In the moment.
I have to be one of the only writers in the world that gets upset when a royalty check comes in the mail. I don't want you to read my book, because it means that you have experienced something so, so awful. You or someone you know. Love Letters to Miscarried Moms is a club that I created that I don't want anyone to join.
I love you, dear Reader-Friend. And I pray, pray, pray that you will be blessed and that you will have the strength to see your blessings beyond the grief. As David Crowder sings, “afflictions eclipsed by glory”. I'm sorry that you have joined this terrible club, but I am so relieved to have sat next to you, to have been with you through your grief. Thank you for the honor of allowing me to speak love from my heart to yours.
Children's books that explain heaven-arrived baby to his/ her siblings: Alexandra's Rose
Hope Mommies exists to share the hope of Christ with bereaved families experiencing infant loss. Join their online community or find a chapter of this growing ministry near you. They provide hope boxes, small groups and annual retreats.
Making a Momma: When pro-life means pro the momma's life. The baby had zero chance to live. The baby was killing her. Madison and her husband faced a choice that none of us envy. No matter your stance on pro-life, I know that I can trust you to be wholly supportive and encouraging when you respond.
1.) The best gifts I received that week were meals, flowers, babysitters, and time to grieve on my own terms.
2.) If you know anyone who is miscarrying,encourage her to put a strainer across the toilet seat. It will save her from having to fish for her baby. It sounds morbid, but it helps to make a terrible situation just a little bit better.
3.) Be intentional about love. Even worse than saying or doing something wrong, is doing nothing at all.
4.) Mirror her or him. Are they being serious or silly? Is conversation staying at the surface? It's a dance. Let the grieving lead.
Rainbow Babies Photo Shoot August 2016
A rainbow baby is the baby born immediately following a miscarriage or early infant loss.